9 nights of adventure around Scotland in our converted camper van. I preclude that I title each day from where we woke up to where we slept, for the details you just have to literally read the lines.
GO.
Evening before…
If the spicy sun was a sign of good tidings to come then yes the sunset and food was boss that night.
Day 1 Liverpool – Loch Lomond and the Trossachs National Park
After convincing a couple of mates over breakfast that we should swerve the popular and probably wonderful NC500 for a 3 ferry crossing trip to the Outer Hebrides, I declare this trip officially renamed Jamtoast1000. (over 1000 miles travelled and my toast was pretty good that day).
We made a pit stop at a lovely service station in the Lakes, a ‘farm food’ food boutique for over priced, paper wrapped pies. While the rest of the UK was in the throws of a heat wave, when we arrived into Glasgow it rained. We trudged on in convoy, us in the Renault Master and a constant in my wing mirrors was a pimped out T5. We arrived around 6pm in Milarrachy Bay a shore line car park on the East banks of Loch Lomond. The sun burst out the purple clouds almost as we arrived, so on our scamp around the area we got to Learn about Scottish Mountain Man Tom Weir and watched the sun dip behind the first of many Munros and then the stars only started popping off didn’t they. Needing no encouragement we beach swam, beach fed, beach fire then beach bed.
Day 2 Loch Lomond – The Silver Sands of Morar
Id like to start as I mean to go on so got up and stretched on the shores and tried to meditate followed by a loch wash. Shortly after we met Aunty Histamine who would dutifully accompany us along our journey.
We hung around for as long as we could before heading into Fort William to catch the shops to acquire a new pair of walking boots as mine, after 16 years, had finally fallen apart. Stocked up on the essential dark chocolate from Lidl and headed to BBQ our dinner on the beach. The Silver Sands of Morar are a long stretch of coast line with camper van parking galore. Que another amazing sunset picture below.
Day 3 Silver Sands of Morar – Portree
I woke up around 5.30am for some reason and decided to walk the shore line as there was no chance of a yoga meditation what with all the MIDGES!
I was trying not to mention them but hell in a hole in one they were rampant. You could barely squat for a wee without fear of nether regions coming under attack. Luckily Aunty Histamine was never far for a little respite, as we locked ourselves away in the van and headed to the Isle of Skye.
The ferry cost us around £16 for 2 people and a van, booking in advance is required, although we later learnt that you can also turn up on the day and go on a standby list. Once on the Isle of Skye we set about driving around the south looking for any signs of life. Although this was post ‘lockdown’ it felt post apocalyptic. A faint flute was being blown in the distance, imagine the Youngs TV advert now. Lunch in the van has mainly consisted of Tuna Crunch, tinned tuna, vegan mayo, peppers and sweetcorn. Sometimes in bread sometimes in a scone and sometimes on its own.
We headed inland to the mid drift of the island and hiked The Fairy Pools, a long system of water falls and rock pools, nature basically flashing her arse. A busy spot and you have to pay to park but if you are friendly and ask the attendant how they are today, they will let you park your motorhome for the price of a car, so it pays to be nice.
Day 4 Portree – Uig
If you find your self waking up in Portree head to one of the local bakeries for the scone of you life. Portree despite its natural charm, has like most places miserable people.
Kirk Rock and it’s Tuna Crunch time and the vistas just got better and better. I have to mention the belting weather we have had thus far. Sun was cracking flags most days and temperatures were in the twenties.
An Aird in Gaelic means big grassing land that you cant cross in high heel wedges. We got back in the van and hugged the coast line to Duntulm Castle. In my ongoing attempt to get Matt arrested I encouraged us to ignore signs and sit right in the ruins of the castle. I saw my first seal with a great big fish in its mouth.
Day 5 Uig – Somewhere on the A859 South Harris Outer Hebrides
We get small satisfactions from filling up our water butts for free, being able to recycle our rubbish and sit down locked door toilet time. You can also shower on ferries!
Once we arrived off the ferry from Skye into Tarbet- Harris we headed straight to Lakentyre beach, parked up in the car park next to a cemetery and had us some afternoon delight, we ate that tuna crunch and had us a sleep then sea dip.
Day 6 Harris- Lewis
This morning we began our Megalith tour of South Harris. We downloaded the pocket guide app which gave us an abundant selection of sites to visit, some were standing stones, some where fallen stones. In the vain hope that the misty fog would clear and we could whale spot in the afternoon.
The isles of Harris and Lewis share a few things in common, a lack of trees and an abundance of scarecrows. But which ones which?
Day 7 Tiumpan Head – Ullapool
The ferry over to Ullapool was over 2 hours and the sun started to show her face and so did the dolphins! Looking overboard you could see them swimming along side playing with the hull, barely breaching the water but so delightful to see.
Once in Ullapool our first stop was some long awaited eating out I had been waiting for, I let the Seafood Shack to pop into my life. Ullapool had a good vibe it felt young and vibrant.
This would be our last night in convoy as we had decided on different routes South the following day so we headed to a Park 4 Night in the middle of a gorge for the evening. Red wine and huile d’ Marie Jayne helped evoke the spirits of the highlands and we burnt the midnight fire logs together. I had learnt that the highlands have majesty and texture that the Outer hebs lacked, and Nyomi learnt that she could fit her hand in her mouth.
Day 8 Ullapool- Boat of Garten
Our morning walk was gorgeous! We walked down to a suspension bridge over the Corrieshalloch gorge, an impressive slot-gorge cut by glacial meltwater a couple bill years ago.
We took a tuna crunch break in a Tesco car park in Dingwall and ended up teaching a seagull some manners.
We headed South after lunch towards the Boat of Garten, on route we stopped off at Loch Ness to swim and be internalized by the beast. In the end we just found inner peace and tranquility.
We bathed and dried off in the heat and then headed on wards ending up in a hotel car park next to Ride as we booked us 2 electric mountain bikes to explore the Carringorm National Park the next day.
This would be our last day of the road trip so we had to leave with a bang and a few bruises. After securing 2 top of the range full suspension E mountain bikes we headed off into the national park to blaze some trails.
An abundance of landscapes from purple heather peaks, grazing fields, blue green lakes, nature reserves to ancient Caledonian Pine forests it was by far a most memorable day.
Top speeds of 41km/h and a lot of screams later we arrived back by 5pm to return the bikes and return to the pub where we got sloshed.
Well done Scotland for being massive and encouraging national ownership of beautiful land to be enjoyed by all. Your access laws and right to roam freedom meant we never felt the snobbery from locals living in national parks like we do in England. There wasnt private property signs around every turn and land cut into pieces, fenced off and barb wired from roamers. We all had a bonny time and will be going back whenever possible.
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