Set in the back of a campervan, this above average height woman is living in one of Liverpool’s most expensive postcodes. On the side of the road!
In 2019 Max purchased a Renault Master van 2006 plate as part of her investment strategy to convert it into a campervan, complete with bedroom, boardroom and kitchen.
Insert a good looking picture of your golden vulva.
Stupid but stylish woman trades in vintage car for a white van.
She traded in this, insert a picture of your Fanny.
for this, insert picture of Pegging Sue.
You can see a theme here, she is a tenacious red head with an eye for investments.
In order to diversify her portfolio, she also bought a derelict building for £1 off the local council. The house was a 2 bedroom Victorian terrace that was earmarked for demolition and featured in the Chanel 4 TV show Britain’s Cheapest Street. (Topic telelvision)
A whole community rehoused, the house was gutted and left empty for 15 years awaiting its fate.
But in 2019 the last house in the scheme was awarded to Maxine Sharples. Would this be a fate worse than death? Or would she succeed in resurrecting this house? Fast forward two years and several soured relationships later, she is almost there. However not without many trials and tribulations along the way.
Insert ominous music here.
Its 2020 and winter approaches, it gets cold on all fronts, dealing with a wet derelict crumbling house with nothing inside but asbestos. Not even any windows or doors, let alone a central heating system. What was meant to be a 1 year renovation has turned quickly into 2 years. Tackling a pandemic, joblessness, and marred by a lack of reliable European trades people in the wake of Brexit, costs rose and standards fell.
After several rounds with cowboy builders she decided to take matters into her own hands.
Introduce Mistress Zelda.
She moves into her campervan to save money to continue the renovations. Turns it into a mobile dungeon and steals WIFI to broadcast it.
Accused of being over zealous in her designs, many tradespeople laugh at her new configuration of the house. Of course she is ambitious and didnt want your normal run of the mill renovation. She wanted natural light and a suspended yoga platform, is that so much to ask? She took a gamble put a few quid in bitcoin and redesigned the house. In the spirit of turning life on its head, she turned the house upside down.
The van turned out to be this overstressed woman’s hero of the story. Oh and the bit coin investment came good. The van saw her through brake ups, new jobs, homelessness, an oasis on Mossley Hill Drive, a posh part of Liverpool next to the park where she would work from.
This is now 2021 during the 2nd lockdown or 3rd? Who cares the only thing in lockdown are her male patreon’s penises she has in remote chastity devices. After graduating in 2019 from her yoga teacher training in Wuhan China, (yes she is kinda a big deal and can speak Mandarin), she decides to put her yoga skills to work and creates yinyangyoga taking on a few private clients she is now earning enough money to start employing professionals again.
However because of the Vid, work ceased and work men, if you were lucky, would come out only for easy, large, cash jobs. So a few costly construction procurement mistakes, and a very expensive meal subscription service later. She is broke again.
Just when you think it couldnt get any worse, the MOT failed in April.
Insert some positive pictures of progress.
So in her entrepreneurial fashion, she has taken to begging to finish the renovations, and has opened up a Patreon account.
Started blogging her woes and stopped taking it out on the tiler.
Luck has turned and she found a blog for how she could earn money by blogging. A few blogs about blogs later and…..she has a patreon account.
Whilst also trying to blog about how you don’t need to be a vomit inducing affable samey samey on social media to get what you want.
Which by the way is only a yoga platform.
So forcing down the vomit she selfied a ‘familiar and approachable’ headshot to compliment her ‘journey’.
Watch this space for irregular, inconsistent, typo ridden wonders of the DIY world.
majorloveme 
Fun Fact: MAXINE SHARPLES is an anagram of ANAL HERPES MIX. *
“What’s the relevance of that?” you may ask.
Well let’s just say I hope Mistress Zelda is thoroughly disinfecting that thing between uses. It’s a basic issue of trust between pegger and peggee.
During the pandemic we all learned how to wash our hands for the first time. Let’s keep that momentum going by learning how to wash our strap-ons. Most importantly, let’s stop mixing our anal herpes.
* (Yeah, yeah, I know there’s an extra ‘S’ left over. It’s still a lovely bit of wordplay, so cut me some slack. Had that rogue ‘S’ been an ‘N’ you could have been an ANAL HERPES MINX, but you can’t everything I suppose.
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